This subject doesn't get talked about much... I've left a few churches, sometimes my reasons were valid, other times, I've gone back and apologized to a pastor for the way I've left. Leaving a church is never easy for a Christian. It shouldn't be. The church is the family of God. Every true church is a visible manifestation of a spiritual reality, and thus, breaking ties is painful. Your friendships will not be the same. Your spiritual care and mission will not be the same. They may be better, they may be worse, but they are sure to be different, and that change causes pain. I'm not going to focus on these in this post, but there are bad reasons to leave a church. There are also good reasons that won't make my list. But this at least starts the conversation. I'd love to hear some feedback on this one. Just as a side note, I do believe that in most cases, when you leave a church, you should sit down and talk to your former pastor(s). They have a responsibility before God to care for your soul. There are occasional spiritually abusive situations in which this does not make sense, but in general, pastors need to know who they are spiritually responsible for... On to the list.
10. Heresy. This is usually the only thing on most people's "list" of reasons to leave a church. Of course, if your church decides that they are now Arian, that Jesus is not God, or that there is not a Trinity or that Mary is the 4th member of the Trinity, then you should leave. One recent issue is that several groups of churches have declared that the Bible is not the Word of God. They may say something like "the Bible contains the word of God, but is not the Word of God." Often this comes up in relationship to ordaining women (as the Bible clearly forbids this process) or condoning homosexuality (which the Bible considers sin). Several groups have sought a way to edit out some sections of the Bible. I would leave a church over those issues. If you are considering this subject, I suggest the Chicago statement on Biblical Inerrancy.
9. Functional Heresy. This is a little more tricky and leaves room for abuse, but I believe this reason is highly under-considered. What if a church keeps on the "official documents" a view that is orthodox, but functionally treats Jesus as just a man? What if the historical views of the church are maintained only in documents but in the sermons and life of the church Jesus is little more than a good example or moral teacher? What if they say they believe in the inerrancy of Scripture but never preach from the Bible? Many sermons I read from mainline churches are functionally Christ-less. Christians should leave such churches. The Bible teaches that the way God keeps us is through the preaching of his Word, which is Christ and him crucified (see "Note" at the end of this post). If you don't leave such a church you may be committing spiritual suicide.
8. You find yourself saying "I'm only staying to help fix the church I'm in." If you know there are major issues, such as functional heresy, but are staying because you plan on fixing the church, just know, you won't. If you are the senior pastor/elder with considerable congregational support, you may be able to pull off the rare reform of an institution, if you are an associate pastor or layperson, just leave. As I heard Mark Driscoll say in a lecture once, "You can stick around for awhile, but don't waste the best years of your life trying to fix a church."
7. You are only staying around for friendships. Friendships are an important part of the Christian life. Christ said that people would know that we are believers because of the way we love each other. However, if you are in a place that is not preaching Christ, not believing in the Christ of the Bible, or is not caring for you spiritually, and you stay for your Friendships, you have made your friendships "god." You may kill your family spiritually in the process of worshiping your functional "god."
6. Lack of Biblical preaching. God commands pastors to care for His sheep by preaching the Word of God (see 2 Timothy 4:1-3 for example). If the church is not preaching from the Bible, then the pastor is not caring for the church. Calvin would argue that it is not a church if the Gospel is not preached rightly. This does not mean that the pastor has to teach sequentially through books of the Bible. It just means that point of the sermon must come from the Scripture and not some human's head.
5. Lack of Gospel preaching. Christ is the point of every passage of Scripture, rightly interpreted. Paul wanted to preach nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified (see Paul's argument in 1 Corinthians 1 and 2). "For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the Cross of Christ be emptied of its power" (1 Corinthians 1:17 ESV). Sermons based on "wisdom," good advice, family values, conservative values and not the Cross of Jesus lack the power of God... the power that God is exerting to save your soul. It may be possible preach the Gospel without mentioning the cross, but I can't figure out how. It should be a big red flag if any Sunday morning sermon does not mention the Cross of Jesus.
4. You won't bring your friends to church. Why not? If its because of your timidity, that's not necessarily your church's problem. But if you won't bring your friends to church because you know they will just hear a hokey, powerless sermon, cheesy music and lots of Christian-ease, then you should consider leaving. This may be a sign that your church has abandoned its call to reach the city in which you live with the Gospel and has begun to just cater to the Christians that pay their salaries. Consider joining the mission of a church that both preaches the Gospel and seeks to bring people to saving faith in Jesus. Jesus wasn't joking when he gave the Great Commission.
3. You don't go to church. If you don't go to church, you should. The church is The Way that God has created to get you and keep you saved. It's spiritual suicide to sit at home on a Sunday morning. I have several friends that won't go to the church where they are members because they don't like it any more, but won't go anywhere else either. If you don't "like" it because its a Christ-less sermon and you are spiritually dying, but don't have the balls to move your membership... Dads...get it done. Your family deserve better leadership than that.
2. You will be better at reaching your social network by connecting with a different church. This one is pretty subjective and should not be used as an excuse to leave a difficult situation. But, keep in mind, that social groups are not reached by all churches equally. Many leading thinkers (Tim Keller, Ed Stetzer) have noted the research that shows that newer churches (defined as less than 15 years old) are many times better at reaching unbelievers than older, established churches. (Disclaimer: This is an obvious plug for church planting, from a church planter). I can see some situation where going to a good, older church can make reaching your set of friends difficult. You should talk to your pastor about this. If he is missional at all, then he may think of ways that you can reach them in some way at your current church, or he may free you to pursue association with a church that is targeting your set of friends. Church planters love to partner with such people, trust me.
1. You want to help in reaching people with the Gospel. As a church planter, I list this as number 1, though of course, it is not the most important. There are lots of big, good churches out there. There are also many small, newer churches (I know of 4-5 in Columbia alone) that are seeking to reach groups of people that are not being reached. It is amazingly helpful to have mature believers leave a nice, good, comfortable church, for the sake of the mission that Jesus sent us on. There are plenty of good reasons to stay at a good, comfortable church. That being said, for the sake of the Mission, we need some people to be less comfortable, less secure, less safe and join in the mission that Christ sent us on. Joining a church plant is a great way to do that.
Who your church family is is a big deal. Your family's spiritual care is a big deal. God cares for your soul through the Gospel rightly preached. God saves your friends through the Gospel rightly preached. Don't mess around with churches that preach moralistic, advice-driven, Oprah-like sermons. They are spiritually deadly. Christ died on the Cross to save people like you, your family and your social circle. The Holy Spirit applies Jesus' work to you, your family and your friends through the preached word (see Romans 10:5-15). Don't avoid God's power for your salvation because of your desire to be in a comfortable Sunday morning social club. Also, consider whether God would call you to leave a good, comfortable church for the sake of reaching people that are not being reached by the systems currently in place.
Note: Key to this list is the idea that the (or at least a) primary function of the church is to proclaim the Word of God. Through the proclaimed Word, the Holy Spirit creates faith (see Galatians 3, Romans 1:16-17). And it is that faith that saves and keeps us saved. For more reading on this subject consider reading Christless Christianity by Michael Horton.
10. Heresy. This is usually the only thing on most people's "list" of reasons to leave a church. Of course, if your church decides that they are now Arian, that Jesus is not God, or that there is not a Trinity or that Mary is the 4th member of the Trinity, then you should leave. One recent issue is that several groups of churches have declared that the Bible is not the Word of God. They may say something like "the Bible contains the word of God, but is not the Word of God." Often this comes up in relationship to ordaining women (as the Bible clearly forbids this process) or condoning homosexuality (which the Bible considers sin). Several groups have sought a way to edit out some sections of the Bible. I would leave a church over those issues. If you are considering this subject, I suggest the Chicago statement on Biblical Inerrancy.
9. Functional Heresy. This is a little more tricky and leaves room for abuse, but I believe this reason is highly under-considered. What if a church keeps on the "official documents" a view that is orthodox, but functionally treats Jesus as just a man? What if the historical views of the church are maintained only in documents but in the sermons and life of the church Jesus is little more than a good example or moral teacher? What if they say they believe in the inerrancy of Scripture but never preach from the Bible? Many sermons I read from mainline churches are functionally Christ-less. Christians should leave such churches. The Bible teaches that the way God keeps us is through the preaching of his Word, which is Christ and him crucified (see "Note" at the end of this post). If you don't leave such a church you may be committing spiritual suicide.
8. You find yourself saying "I'm only staying to help fix the church I'm in." If you know there are major issues, such as functional heresy, but are staying because you plan on fixing the church, just know, you won't. If you are the senior pastor/elder with considerable congregational support, you may be able to pull off the rare reform of an institution, if you are an associate pastor or layperson, just leave. As I heard Mark Driscoll say in a lecture once, "You can stick around for awhile, but don't waste the best years of your life trying to fix a church."
7. You are only staying around for friendships. Friendships are an important part of the Christian life. Christ said that people would know that we are believers because of the way we love each other. However, if you are in a place that is not preaching Christ, not believing in the Christ of the Bible, or is not caring for you spiritually, and you stay for your Friendships, you have made your friendships "god." You may kill your family spiritually in the process of worshiping your functional "god."
6. Lack of Biblical preaching. God commands pastors to care for His sheep by preaching the Word of God (see 2 Timothy 4:1-3 for example). If the church is not preaching from the Bible, then the pastor is not caring for the church. Calvin would argue that it is not a church if the Gospel is not preached rightly. This does not mean that the pastor has to teach sequentially through books of the Bible. It just means that point of the sermon must come from the Scripture and not some human's head.
5. Lack of Gospel preaching. Christ is the point of every passage of Scripture, rightly interpreted. Paul wanted to preach nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified (see Paul's argument in 1 Corinthians 1 and 2). "For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the Cross of Christ be emptied of its power" (1 Corinthians 1:17 ESV). Sermons based on "wisdom," good advice, family values, conservative values and not the Cross of Jesus lack the power of God... the power that God is exerting to save your soul. It may be possible preach the Gospel without mentioning the cross, but I can't figure out how. It should be a big red flag if any Sunday morning sermon does not mention the Cross of Jesus.
4. You won't bring your friends to church. Why not? If its because of your timidity, that's not necessarily your church's problem. But if you won't bring your friends to church because you know they will just hear a hokey, powerless sermon, cheesy music and lots of Christian-ease, then you should consider leaving. This may be a sign that your church has abandoned its call to reach the city in which you live with the Gospel and has begun to just cater to the Christians that pay their salaries. Consider joining the mission of a church that both preaches the Gospel and seeks to bring people to saving faith in Jesus. Jesus wasn't joking when he gave the Great Commission.
3. You don't go to church. If you don't go to church, you should. The church is The Way that God has created to get you and keep you saved. It's spiritual suicide to sit at home on a Sunday morning. I have several friends that won't go to the church where they are members because they don't like it any more, but won't go anywhere else either. If you don't "like" it because its a Christ-less sermon and you are spiritually dying, but don't have the balls to move your membership... Dads...get it done. Your family deserve better leadership than that.
2. You will be better at reaching your social network by connecting with a different church. This one is pretty subjective and should not be used as an excuse to leave a difficult situation. But, keep in mind, that social groups are not reached by all churches equally. Many leading thinkers (Tim Keller, Ed Stetzer) have noted the research that shows that newer churches (defined as less than 15 years old) are many times better at reaching unbelievers than older, established churches. (Disclaimer: This is an obvious plug for church planting, from a church planter). I can see some situation where going to a good, older church can make reaching your set of friends difficult. You should talk to your pastor about this. If he is missional at all, then he may think of ways that you can reach them in some way at your current church, or he may free you to pursue association with a church that is targeting your set of friends. Church planters love to partner with such people, trust me.
1. You want to help in reaching people with the Gospel. As a church planter, I list this as number 1, though of course, it is not the most important. There are lots of big, good churches out there. There are also many small, newer churches (I know of 4-5 in Columbia alone) that are seeking to reach groups of people that are not being reached. It is amazingly helpful to have mature believers leave a nice, good, comfortable church, for the sake of the mission that Jesus sent us on. There are plenty of good reasons to stay at a good, comfortable church. That being said, for the sake of the Mission, we need some people to be less comfortable, less secure, less safe and join in the mission that Christ sent us on. Joining a church plant is a great way to do that.
Who your church family is is a big deal. Your family's spiritual care is a big deal. God cares for your soul through the Gospel rightly preached. God saves your friends through the Gospel rightly preached. Don't mess around with churches that preach moralistic, advice-driven, Oprah-like sermons. They are spiritually deadly. Christ died on the Cross to save people like you, your family and your social circle. The Holy Spirit applies Jesus' work to you, your family and your friends through the preached word (see Romans 10:5-15). Don't avoid God's power for your salvation because of your desire to be in a comfortable Sunday morning social club. Also, consider whether God would call you to leave a good, comfortable church for the sake of reaching people that are not being reached by the systems currently in place.
Note: Key to this list is the idea that the (or at least a) primary function of the church is to proclaim the Word of God. Through the proclaimed Word, the Holy Spirit creates faith (see Galatians 3, Romans 1:16-17). And it is that faith that saves and keeps us saved. For more reading on this subject consider reading Christless Christianity by Michael Horton.
LOVE this. SO pertinent to my phase of life right now. Also interesting to think of in terms of the church memberships my parents have had over the years. Good blog post! Thanks for linking, Jen!
ReplyDeleteReally interesting post! It will have me thinking for a while..
ReplyDelete